


i know about what you did and i wanna scream the truth

by orphan_account



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Bonding, M/M, Phase 5, Some angst, general gorillaz bullshit, i'll add tags when I figure out how to use this shit, slowburn, there will be abuse mentions, trans 2d
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23794939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: you're such a damn liar. those great whites they have big teeth.hope they bite you(note: i am going to be rewriting this after aries is finished)
Relationships: Ace Copular/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	i know about what you did and i wanna scream the truth

It was a quiet morning at Spirit House, which Stu had grown accustomed to. It’d been almost a year without Murdoc and he’d never felt…happier? Sometimes he couldn’t tell if it was all just an illusion, his happiness and Murdoc being gone, but he thinks maybe that’s what Murdoc’s influence has caused him to think. That he will never truly be happy.  
He wanted to be though! He really did. Things had been going so well, he’d opened up so much to the band, more so than he ever felt safe to do so when Murdoc was around. That bastard wouldn’t even let him have his own credit card, never mind peace of mind. He remembered, just before they started working on songs for The Now Now after Tranz, they all got really drunk, initiating Ace into the band fully after not really getting a chance with filming two music videos and getting things ready for deadlines. About seven shots in each during a drinking Mario Party game, Stu put down his Wii remote and just started sobbing. He remembers everyone being extremely confused and him being just as equally embarrassed, he was just really overwhelmingly happy, for the first time in a very long time, he spilled it all, everything Murdoc did behind closed doors and plastic walls, shaking the whole time. Everyone, absolutely disgusted with Murdoc, told Stu that he should use this album to talk about his feelings, and that Murdoc would never ever hurt him again as long any of them would live. He got hugged that night more than he’d ever been held in his life.  
He made The Now Now with nothing but encouragement and love surrounding him, Russ set him up with a new therapist who he thought might be more helpful, and he really was. Noodle sat with him almost every night after dinner, telling him stories of what she’d been up to when she wasn’t with the band. Some stories incredibly odd and supernatural, but he didn’t think too much of it, he’d seen just about the same amount of weird too. Ace, Ace was a strange one to Stu, he didn’t know him too well, but he really liked him! And on nights where they got drunk together when everyone else went to bed, or if Stu was having a particularly bad day, they’d talk for hours. They’d get closer and closer every time, so close, Stu was worried he’d break. Always keeping Ace at arm’s length, he enjoyed his company, but he didn’t want to bring him into all his bullshit if he could help it. But he was starting to feel something else for Ace, and he didn’t want to think about it or talk about it.  
So he wouldn’t.

Stu went downstairs, sitting himself on his usual seat, he always found it strange how you could get accustomed to sitting in a seat, no one ever sat in Murdoc’s seat. As if he was still there somehow, waiting to come back any second and sit there, yelling his arse off about nothing. Stu decided he’d sit in that seat today. Fuck Murdoc.  
He sat there proudly, twiddling his thumbs. He wasn’t entirely sure what today would bring, it’d been a month since the tour finished for the new album, and he had to admit he was getting kinda restless not having anything to do. Other people were starting to notice too, some days he’d just pace the house, anxiously waiting for something to happen that he knew wasn’t going to happen. Today wasn’t going to be like that though, he thought, flattening his hands onto the shabby table. Not a thought of breakfast had entered his head yet, he found himself without an appetite most days now, constantly on edge. He didn’t need to be worried about anything though! It was all fine. Murdoc was in jail. He was fine. He. Was. Fine.  
His phone blipped in his pocket suddenly, Noodle’s ringtone. He tapped the screen to look at the notification, thinking he’d see the usual ‘want anything from the store?’ or ‘going out today! Have a good day Stu!’. Instead, he saw his worst nightmare unfold. A text from Noodle saying ‘we need to talk, I have something to tell you that you’re not going to like, don’t freak out! Call me when you’re up’. Oh right, it was early morning, not his usual wake up time. He didn’t want to keep the anxiety of not knowing what she had to tell him go on any longer, even though deep down he knew what she was going to say and wanted nothing more than to ignore the text entirely. He pressed on her number and listened as the phone rang, scratching the table with his bitten to death nails. After a few rings, she finally picked up.  
“AH! Dee! I’m sorry I would’ve rung you, but I didn’t think you’d be awake.” She sounded out of breath and like she was fiddling with something heavy.  
“Don’t worry about it Noods, you okay?” He questioned, as he heard more fumbling and muffled shouting, it sounded like she’d covered the receiver with her hand. Weird. He braced himself for what he felt was coming.  
“I…. Stu, I have Murdoc here with me, I wanted you to be the first to know.” He began to zone out then, staring at the marks he was making in the wood as his chest tightened. “He…. we’ve had a long talk and…and he wants to make things right. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me, but I really do feel like he’s had a change of heart, deep down in my gut. I wouldn’t be saying it otherwise and would’ve dropped him off at the old people’s home already.” She laughed, it felt forced and strained, she knew he wasn’t taking it well already, and she expected as much.  
“Stu? Talk to me, say anything.” She begged, while the sound of her whacking something away rang through the phone. Stu sat there, nails deep into the wood now, he hoped they’d be able to fix it, he thought, as his nails bled full of splinters.  
“Huh? Don’t worry about me. Are you okay, you sound like you’re fighting with a bear?” He put on his most normal voice he could muster; she could see through it clear as day though. She played along regardless, there was no point in arguing how okay he really was with this over the phone.  
“Close, Murdoc keeps reaching for the phone, he really wants to talk to you. I keep telling him it’s a BAD IDEA.” She shouts away from the phone, before returning calmly to talk to Stu. “But he’s not listening, I…I’ll let you go in a second Stu but, please talk to someone before we get back. Let them help you okay? We all want to help you.” Stu nodded, before realising she couldn’t see him nod through the phone.  
“Yeah. Thanks for letting me know Noodle. Stay safe doing whatever you’re doing.” More arguing was heard before he decided to just put the phone down.  
He clutched his chest with his bleeding fingernails, trying to calm down. It wasn’t working. His head was full of thoughts of Murdoc. What was he going to do when he got home? What was he going to think of his newfound happiness? What was he going to do with Ace? Would their family nights ever be the same? Was he going to get hurt again?  
Could he forgive Murdoc if he really had changed? Would anyone blame him if he didn’t?  
All these thoughts clouded his thoughts, consuming him. He wanted out, he wanted out right now.  
He grabbed a reusable bag from under the kitchen sink and ran up to his room, stuffing as many shirts and trousers in as physically possible, along with his toothbrush, pills, notebooks and jackets. He needed to go now before anyone could talk him out of it. He couldn’t even stomach the thought of seeing Murdoc walk through that door. None of them would let Murdoc go anywhere near him, he knew that, but he…he didn’t even want to see his face. All the bad shit he’d done to him would come back and hit him like the fucking car the day he met Murdoc. No. He had to go. He planned it out in his head as he shut the front door quietly and walked aimlessly into the streets, it was 6am, still kind of dark. Ace and Russ wouldn’t be up for hours yet, he hoped at least. He decided he’d just keep walking until he saw a taxi and then book into the furthest hotel away from Spirit House. Hoping to God that was far enough. 

Ace was the first to wake up, feeling around his bed for his sunglasses, they must’ve drunk a lot last night for him to be out cold like that. He stood up and got himself dressed and showered, going to knock on Stu’s door after realising it was 11am and he didn’t want to leave the poor guy in bed all day again because he hadn’t set his alarm, not that it was a problem, but sleep schedules were good, as Noodle kept reminding them. The door was slightly ajar when he got to it, he pushed it open fully.  
“Stu?” He called to the seemingly empty room, he shrugged his shoulders and went downstairs, must’ve got himself up after all. He hoped he hadn’t had a nightmare again, they were getting weirder and weirder whenever he told Ace about them, Ace was never sure what to say. Unsure whether it was worth mentioning to Russ or Noodle. He still wasn’t sure what was ‘normal’ for Stu. He had a lot going on and he didn’t want to step on his toes when he’d already been getting professional help for some time now, it didn’t make it easier to get him to talk to them though. He insisted he was being ‘open’, but Ace knew way better. He made his way down to the kitchen, no sign of Stu there either. He shrugged that off too, assuming he’d gone out. He grabbed the iced coffee from the fridge that was strangely untouched, Stu usually had some when he woke up, said it helped with his headaches having a bit of caffeine. Ace wasn’t sure whether or not to believe him on that.  
Weird, he just took off? Something wasn’t right. Before bothering poor Russel, he decided to actually text Stu first before coming to any conclusions. As soon as he pulled out his phone, he saw a picture from Noodle of her and Murdoc, a message underneath saying, ‘wish you were here x’. Ace gathered it was meant to be humorous but…...Murdoc was coming home. That wasn’t funny to him. He replied to the message ‘have you told Stu yet???’ before moving onto messaging Stu.  
‘hey stu! Just texting to see where ur at? You left without a word this morning, just making sure ur okay. Ace’ Ace put his phone down on the table, suddenly not feeling up to the iced coffee or toast he’d prepared for himself. He couldn’t shake the feeling Stu had panicked and left, he had to of been the first person to hear from Noodle, and it scared him that he left without a word, not even a note. It was then he noticed the dents in the table, he wasn’t sure if they’d always been there and he’d only just noticed, until he spotted the tiny splatters of blood in the dents. He then followed the trail on the floor, doorframe, and eventually the front door handle.  
He’d left alright.  
Ace hammered on Russel’s door, hearing a loud sigh and then slow footsteps after a few seconds. Russel opened the door a crack, looking hungover as hell.  
“Yes?” He said tiredly, not particularly annoyed, especially when he saw the frantic look on Ace’s face.  
“He’s gone! Russ he’s gone and I don’t know where he could be!” Ace exclaimed, opening the door a bit wider, not caring how Russ was looking at him confused.  
“Dee?” Russ questioned, trying but failing to get some clarity from Ace. Ace had started pacing and biting his fingertips.  
“Murdoc’s out and…and he must’ve heard about it this morning and freaked out and left! I don’t know what to do Russ!” Russ looked at him with wide eyes. So Murdoc was out huh, and whoever told Stu didn’t even think to inform the damage control of what was going on? This wasn’t going to be fun.

Stu threw his bag onto the floor of the hotel room, it was on the other side of the city from spirit house, which…. wasn’t that far away. 30 minutes max. But he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do yet so he didn’t want to go too far. He flopped down onto the bed, what was he even doing? He had no plan, had just shut out the whole band from what he was doing, AND he didn’t bring anything to distract himself with. Christ. At least he was careful to take money out of the bank to pay for the hotel room so they wouldn’t track him down. He rubbed his hands against his face roughly, telling himself to calm down about it. “IT’LL BE FINE.” He kept repeating to himself. Knowing full well he was lying. It wasn’t going to be fine until he went back to the house, or until Noodle inevitably found him, Noodle had a knack for finding people.  
Murdoc. He was all he could think about the entire trip. It was driving him nuts. He didn’t want to think about Murdoc or what was going to happen when he came back, which would be later on to fucking day.  
Don’t think about it! ARGH why was it so hard to get a moment of peace in your own head. He considered ringing his therapist, who gave him his number if he ever needed him, but decided he’d better not, just in case he reported back to the band for some reason. Just as he thought he was finally settling down, changing his outfit, and ordering a drink to his room, he got a text from Ace. He wasn’t sure how to respond, or if he should respond at all. No he should probably respond so they know he’s okay right? Yeah. Yeah, he should do that. He opened the text and pondered what he should say, vagueness or honesty? More honest the better? Maybe. He decided to just start typing and see what happened.  
‘Hey, I’m sorry I just had to get out the house. I don’t think I can be there when he gets back, let me know what happens though, don’t know when I’ll be back but don’t worry about me!’ He signed it off with his name, even though he hoped Ace had him in as a contact by now. It wasn’t more than 30 seconds later a phone call started coming through, this time from Russ. He decided he really wasn’t up to talking to Russ and turned his phone off, putting it on the desk included in the room. He didn’t need any of that now. He just needed headspace. Then everything would be fine. He’d come home and confront Murdoc with balls of steel if he had to. He wasn’t going to let him take away his family.  
Never again, he never forgave Murdoc for what happened to Noodle at El Manana, even though he knew deep down it wasn’t his fault, but he did put a teenager in an extremely dangerous situation in the first place. He wouldn’t ever be sure he could trust Murdoc again in general, he wasn’t even sure there’d been a time when Murdoc was trustworthy!

Whatever, he sighed and pulled himself under the covers, hoping to sleep away his fears and not wake up to his door being kicked down, for God’s sake.

The car ride to Spirit House was truly agonising. Noodle absolutely refused to look at Murdoc. He kept giving her sad eyes and hoped she was looking, but he knew he was in the wrong and it was his fault and he did cause this mess. How was he supposed to fix it though if Stu wasn’t even there? He gave up on trying to get her attention, crossing his arms and sulking in the backseat. All they could find was this stupid shabby taxi to take them back to Spirit House, it stank of all sorts of cigarettes and the damn handles were sticky. Kind of like his room, he thought. As they got closer to the house, Noodle let out a long sigh and turned to him, looking him dead in the eye.  
“Look. I’m not mad at you right now, we should’ve predicted something like this might happen, and I shouldn’t of told him without telling the others at the same time. But if he doesn’t…if he doesn’t want to come back. You know you can’t force him right? I just want to make sure you understand that.” She looked like she’d been thinking about it the whole trip, Murdoc couldn’t look at her. He raised his finger to protest or something, anything to combat the guilt in his head. But instead he lowered his arm, letting out an unusually quiet ‘You’re right.’ And falling back into the seat. Resigning to look out of the window.  
Why should Stu come back to them when Murdoc ruined his life? Why should he feel like he owes them anything? Murdoc’s thoughts spiralled; he really was starting to feel the consequences of his actions in ways he never thought he would. He at the very least, wanted to apologise. Face to face. So he knows it’s sincere.  
When he got out of the car and walked into the house, he wasn’t met with a welcome home party, he wasn’t met with ‘glad to have you back’s or ‘how was prison jackass’. He was met with cold glares and dismissal. Murdoc went straight to bed; he wasn’t sure how he was going to get out of this one. Maybe he didn’t deserve to.

Stu woke up to the sound of someone knocking on his door. Great. He picked up the covers and drew them way over his head, yelling ‘GO AWAY’ towards the direction of the door. After a few seconds of silence, he relaxed again. But who had found him so soon? It’d only been what, a day? The knocking came back, frightening him half to death along with shouting.  
“Stu it’s me! Can I come in? I’m here alone and the housekeeper is looking at me really weird and it’s kinda awkward!” Oh it was Ace? He contemplated his options. 1: Jump out of the window. Tempting but….no. 2: Open the door push past Ace and run for it, or 3: Just let him in, what’s he gonna do? Drag him back? Ace wasn’t like that. He hoped not anyways. He kicked the covers off, pulling on some trousers that were starting to stink from the sweat he’d accumulated from yesterday’s stress, and yanked the door open fully. In the doorway was none other than Ace, completely alone, with his fist held high ready to knock again. Ace embarrassedly put his fist down, a nervous look on his face.  
“What do you want? I’m not coming back yet. Also I came here to y’know….be alone?” Stu crossed his arms, standing his ground, but his anxious foot tapping gave him away slightly. Ace rubbed the back of his neck whilst looking at the ground. A few seconds of silence passed before Ace began to speak.  
“I came here alone.”  
“You said that.”  
“No one knows I’m here. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”  
“Mhm, which I am so…bye Ace.” Stu began to shut the door, but Ace got his hand in before he could shut it fully.  
“Wait! Listen, someone saw you coming here and tweeted about it, so it won’t be long before the others find out too. I didn’t just come here for that though. I um...” Ace trailed off, unusual for him to not know what to say, Stu thought.  
“Why did you come here then?” Stu said, sticking his clothes in his bag again, he couldn’t stay here now. He realised he was being defensive with Ace and he felt a bit shitty about it but he shouldn’t of come looking for him! Did no one understand the concept of being alone?  
“I couldn’t stand being near Murdoc either, not while knowing everything he’s done to you. I couldn’t stay. I told Noodle I was leaving to go home since he was back and everything. So she won’t follow me.” Ace rubbed his hands together, looking around the room to avoid Stu’s confused gaze.  
“Well um…I’d hate to see you go without saying goodbye I guess. But. I mean, if you’re leaving anyways do you wanna. I don’t know…” Stu started, not sure whether or not he really wanted Ace to stay with him. Deep down he did, he was craving company, being alone with his thoughts was proving more harm than good, and also Ace was always a good friend, throughout the entire Now Now album and tours and late nights and…yeah maybe he wanted him to stay. “Will you come with me?”  
Ace took a moment to rub his chin with his long nails, this wasn’t exactly what he thought would happen but…it wouldn’t hurt to hang out with Stu for a big longer, the guy was obviously going through some shit, more than usual, and honestly he was going to miss him when he DID get around to leaving, eventually.  
“I don’t see why not.” Ace smiled smugly, getting an equally smug smile in return. He went over to help him pack, telling him about this really cool hotel he stayed in before integrating into the band that he might like, Stu listened intently, someone had really come all the way out here because they cared about him that much? And they couldn’t stand being anywhere near his abuser? It was kind of jarring to think about, but he was grateful. He hoped they could make the time together last as long as they could.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if the writing is REALLY bad, i'm really autistic and writing is my own personal hell but i've spawned this out


End file.
